Welcome to my written account/journal of my attempted life altering journey to the depths of the Amazon rainforest in order to find myself, to realign me with my life path, (dharma) and to rid myself of many negative aspects of my entire being through the ingestion of a sacred South American root vine. Ayahuasca! This journey begins in England, in a small and very beautiful historic town with the name of Bury St Edmunds, and my destination? The Temple of the way of light, in the Amazon basin, not far from the jungle city of Iquitos, northern Peru.
Since typing this upon my return I have decided that I may continue to add to this as my journey continues to unfold so as to make a written account of my continuing spiritual journey.
I hope it may inspire others to look within and to therefore find a similar hunger to find their own hidden truths and journey toward the enlightened plains.
After being invited to the group for The Temple of The Way of Light on Facebook one month or so previous, I felt compelled to go, and not going, was simply out of the question! Something I’d been told would happen some two years ago by a very lovely and very psychic friend. : ) thanks Max x
DAY 1
After completing the first leg of my journey to the airport without obstruction I now realise that there is no turning back! yikes!: )
It has been plain sailing so far for I now sit in Lima airport taking timeout to consider and to feel the energy here. Even though the maiden flight was twelve hours duration it was a remarkably smooth and comfortable one (as much as it can be : ) and I even managed a few hours of fly catching on and off which is a rarity for me! Zzzz I was allocated a window seat for both the flight to Sao Paolo and the connection to Lima and I must say I wasn’t really prepared for what lie in store for me on the second flight from Sao Paolo! Firstly though I must say that the aerial view of Sao Paolo was immense and breathtaking. What a spectacular sight it really stunned me with it’s sheer magnitude!
Anyway, I boarded the second flight to Lima ,a much smaller aircraft and I was allocated a window seat to the rear of the craft on the right hand side. As I couldn’t recline my seat due to a wall behind me it was even more cramped when the person in front reclined theirs. Doh : ) Now this was a good test of my patience I thought as I’d been in a similar situation before and as with this flight, had sat on the craft for forty five minutes before it even left the ground! I had let this get to me that time and was determined to stay positive for round two as it were as the flight was a five hour duration!: ) Every time I felt myself becoming irritated by it I quite simply took a deep breath, relaxed and forgot about it and I was surprised at how easy it was to overcome with a little positive thinking and especially after five hours! I was also drifting in and out of meditations using the stone I’d acquired from Stone Henge recently and the moss agate stone I had brought with me to work with. I think that these played their role nicely!
The next thing I know, the cloud cover dispersed to reveal a blanket of snow tipped mountains. Finally, just finally I have gotten to behold the sight of the Andes with my own eyes!(I’d dreamt of this ever since, and along with thousands if not millions of others)being addicted to The mysterious cities of gold cartoon series as a child! I cannot begin to describe the sight really other than spectacular and intriguing at the same time sparking a relentless barrage of questions about everything I saw. Hidden paradisiacal lakes tucked away here and there at phenomenal altitude, tracks that lead from nowhere to nowhere (seemingly) and I’m talking about hundreds of miles of full on mountain range here! Signs of civilisation ,villages, crop fields/terraces even towns in places that just simply defy both belief and logic!
Then the captain came over the intercom to make an announcement. One I was not expecting but at the same time thoroughly overjoyed to hear! ( although not shocked! Just another example of the synchronistic phenomenon I’ve learnt to acknowledge and embrace through recent times ) now although my ultimate destination holds in store a life/consciousness altering experience beyond measure or imagination, I’d still been a little gutted that whilst this side of the world, and in Peru, I’d still not find the time or the money to spend time at the site of the of the largest energy vortex site in the world, Lake Titicaca! So what should happen do you think? Oh yes indeed : ) during the captains announcement in somewhat broken English I did manage to catch two important things, these being ‘lake Titicaca’ and ‘to the right hand side’ .
I sat outside Lima airport for a moment to get a feel for the place in between flights (also to have a crafty roll up, naughty boy : ) and looked up to see the one thing I’d hoped to see on the trip gliding high up above me! A giant South American condor! Wow, it must’ve been at least half a mile to a mile high and still looked massive! I almost mistook it for an aeroplane at first! Ok, ok, I was at an airport : ) So then, that’s ticked off the list of must do’s/sees already! Sweet! I was happy! Now I guess I’d like to find myself face to face with one and feed it! You know, exchange a moment with it, eye contact etc : ) haha I can dream.
Ok, the next flight was both short and comfortable, arriving in Iquitos in the north of Peru. Now this was more like the rustic destination I know and love! The less concrete the better and this place certainly fitted the bill! Straight out of the aeroplane and into the arrivals hall/room (the most simple of structures with a luggage conveyor that almost looked out of place! Hehe cool. I looked around at the various stands for the hotel touts for my collection point but could see no-one. In the next moment though I hear my name being hollered in a Spanish accent and in the midst of the confusion I follow it until I find the guy that I’d always hoped would turn up. I recovered my rucksack, complete with my camera tripod still just about clinging onto it for dear life by the one bungee chord I’d strapped it with off of the conveyor, slung it over my shoulder and off we went! Hello Iquitos!
The humidity was stifling but something I’d become accustomed to in Asia so it was rather nice as it felt familiar to me and so did the place. Moto taxis, Thai tuk tuk style buzzing around here there and every which way ( and loose : ) Now this was me! Though I must admit, I feel a far cry away from my usual comfort zone and not speaking the local lingo is a massive downfall, very frustrating and a bit of a pet hate of mine but also a great incentive to bloody well learnt it!: ) It brings a little more confidence whilst wandering the untamed streets and also I feel much less disrespectful when attempting to interact with the local community! There are massive similarities to Asia here in many ways. People buzzing around doing their own thing without too many unnecessary rules and regulations. Four to a scooter,
No helmets (which is debatable but at least you govern your own safety, four by fours loaded with upstanding people all of which sporting a smile from ear to ear, the streets alive with horns, music and laughter , people driving/ riding in all directions on dilapidated roads with large chunks missing etc.So, I get speaking to the two local guys that picked me up from the airport in the mini bus, trying to build a rapport with them so as to feel comfortable and for them also. They ask my business here and I explain that tomorrow I will embark on an Ayahuasca journey into the depths of the Amazon jungle to a retreat and ask if they have experienced it. One of them, Christian, replies that his friend Segundo
Who knows, I think my mother may well be preparing to visit me as it was only last week that a psychic friend of mine had told me that my mother had returned to be around me for a while and was planning to reach me via dream contact and what better way then ayahuasca? We shall see!
I’m now in my hotel room at the Hotel El Dorado in Iquitos, just off the square of the Playa Del Armas just contemplating my journey so far and a good nights rest!
DAY 2
And so it begins!
Ok good morning Iquitos! It is now 4.48am and I have awakened bright eyed and bushy tailed though much earlier than I’d either hoped, or expected but feel great so all is well. : ) I have seven hours until pick up! It’s still dark out but I’m feeling very brave and will take my camera and tripod out into the streets to see if I can capture some half decent shots of local life and the cool church/clock tower I’d caught a glimpse of in the square last night. Wish me luck!
( before I continue I feel I’d like to quickly elaborate on the extra part of Christians Ayahuasca experience. He had also said that during his visionary experience, an image in the form of the devil had appeared to him. This was in a well known/perceived form i.e. a large red man like figure with large horns etc and he had stated his intention to Christian that he wanted him to become one of his soldiers /warriors. An angel appeared and an impending battle ensued in which the angel emerged triumphant. Now most visions, like dreams are metaphorical in content and my interpretation of this would be that this was emanating from Christians deep subconscious somewhere and was relating to the constant and ongoing battle we all endure throughout our lives within ourselves against our egos and the materialistic , possessive nature and temptations that confront us and test us from one day to the next. The internal battle we face between ‘service to self’ and ‘service to others’. A battle that one day we shall ALL be consciously aware of and struggle to fit into the correct category at the very least 50% or more into the latter of the two! (for starters : ) This is not an easy task but we will prevail and when we do we shall all realise our inner potential and connect with our true purposes in life and begin to aid to raising of the vibrations of the planet in our own unique way and take a positive step toward the enlightened states within us and from whence we came. Our true identity! This was also a great reference for me that I was indeed in the presence of a person that was both well balanced and operating from the heart seeing how his vision concluded! Very positive, but this is my interpretation only. You may have another outlook.)
Ok so, 5am I took to the streets donning my camera gear for a little exploration. I didn’t wander too far at first as to get my bearings but as the streets were relatively empty I got a good sense of the energy and atmosphere of the city as it had a nice vibe. I found the people to be outwardly open and friendly which was extremely good for me as I then explored further with confidence. I came across a viewpoint at the edge of the city giving me a first glimpse of the natural environment that I would be immersed in later and the oh so familiar jungle sounds (crickets etc) were music to my ears! Sadly at 9am the heavens opened up and the rain poured torrentially which was nice but a little worrying for the boat journey and jungle trek with my camera gear etc in mind but I’m praying and asking the spirits nicely for the weather to clear in time for the journey. Feeling also that the route may be a little more treacherous after a heavy rain whilst carrying so much gear/weight etc. All will be well either way and in perfect divine order such as life all the same : )
9.30am The heavens have answered my prayers and the sky is clearing! THANKYOOOOOU : )Hello again! So much has happen since my last input I’m not quite sure where to start! I may simplify the rest I may shorten it somewhat else I may not find the time for sleep!
So, the rain lifted and cleared fully to reveal a deep azure blue sky, the sun shining brightly and I’d like to think that the powers that be had answered my prayers! BIG THANKS AGAIN!: )
I had only a hundred yards or so to carry my relatively heavy rucksack to the hotel meeting point in order to catch the bus. Sweet! There were already a few guys waiting there and I felt both nervous and confident at the same time, swinging between the two and trying to maintain a high energy field using breathing techniques (thanks Linda ; ) The de-tox and lack of sustenance had left me a little shaky including my speech which made me a little more self conscious whilst meeting the group but bouts of self initiating self confidence pushed me forward and knowing everyone was there for the same reason (or similar) helped me to brush aside any fears I had. Though I wasn’t prepared for the number of people that turned up (around 20 or so) we all introduced ourselves and struggled to remember names from the word go (another pet hate/fear of mine! Getting someone’s name wrong ouch : ) it makes me feel a little disrespectful continuously asking someone’s name or getting someone’s name wrong! hmm
Also, many of the group seemed to speak pretty decent if not excellent Spanish so I felt a little inferior in a way and a little disrespectful toward the hotel staff but it’s all my ego talking I guess and nothing really to worry about at all so I got over that as soon as I recognised it for what it was and at times I must remember not to be too hard on myself! The bus arrived and after the luggage was loaded through the rear window we all piled on…and off again as it was so hot and stifling and we were still short of people. Eventually we departed and sadly leaving one group member behind that hadn’t made it in time though we waited for a good while. Wasn’t meant to be for that person I guess! 
I’d like to describe the bus and the journey etc but…weeeeell : ) it was an experience. I concentrated on one to three people within close proximity to me in order to engrain names etc in my memory as a group from the off for me is both a little daunting, and difficult to build a rapport/foundation with any one person. After a bumpy but enjoyable ride we arrived at the riverside and ironically enough it was a wood yard/mill importing logs via the river and slicing them for distribution which I found a little sad considering I came here to be at one amongst the nature and the earth but all in the experience as a whole hey. At first I was a little surprised about the eclectic mix of people within the group though what was I expecting?? Twenty reiki healers like me with the same thoughts and beliefs?? What would that teach me and what would I learn from that?? Lesson one, to never be judgemental, judge a book by it’s cover and ever let your ego get involved! Luckily for me I’m, at the moment keeping close tabs on both and any pre-judgement I make is quickly faced with stiff opposition and self criticism though on a positive level! I’m really trying hard to maintain a constant vigil over these needless traits of mine on the hope that one day I can eliminate them from arising at all! One step at a time though I’m definitely on the right path and I seem to be grasping it very well and seeing the lesson in everything and certainly learning from them by keeping them conscious!
We arrived at the drop off point and continued the next leg of the journey on foot and through much thick grey and very wet mud at times getting deeper and deeper into the thick , dense jungle. It reminded me of a David Attenborough nature program! (probably the last time I experienced such a place : ) especially the sounds! At one point the path took us literally right past a family living in an unsealed, open wooden structure amongst the dense forest where we were greeted by the family and also a family of very small and some very young parrots sitting upon the branch of a tree around chest height. This was awesome as they were actually communicating with us and were desperate for our attention. After another twenty minutes or so the path widened and I sensed a clearing ahead and knew the sanctuary must be close! The next few corners revealed a few eloquently placed flowering plants and a fruiting pineapple plant and there we were…our first glimpse of the place that we would call home for the next twelve days!!: )
We worked on our re hydration after the long walk in the heat and humidity with fresh water and fresh orange juice which was a delight whilst trays of fresh fruit were passed around to group. We then introduced ourselves one by one so as to get better acquainted with one another and all of the staff were then introduced. The Maestras and Shamens are all of Shipibo origin and of a one hundred percent blood line and it is explained that the set up here is by no means a Mickey Mouse set up as you may find elsewhere and that these people had all trained extensively over many long and hard years of tireless work and are very powerful healers as can be seen with their many past healings and this is not a practice to be taken lightly! Though they do have an amazingly sweet and childlike innocence to them and smile almost constantly which is extremely heart warming! Any dietary requirements were noted as were any medical conditions and any specifics that we required the attention of in regard to the healing we would like to achieve during the workshop though we would discuss these in more detail tomorrow before the first Ayahuasca ceremony. 
I jumped into my swimming shorts and headed straight for the swimming pool (dam) for a quick swim and a much needed wash along with the rest of the group having the same good idea. Four deck chairs lined up along the dam made for a great little communal area. Seeing this as a good opportunity, as everyone was together I took the package of individually wrapped bundles of white sage I had brought with me to share within the group so as they could smudge themselves and their huts should they want to and is a great thing to use before a ceremony, not to mention smelling great at the very least! (smudging being a technique used to cleanse energy fields for people that don’t know)I hadn’t expected so many people to be here but luckily most people were sharing two to a tambo so it went around everyone just perfect in the end and was received very well which I was pleased about. The fresh water swim was just out of this world and there’s something about a swim in fresh water that invigorates me so. It’s also a good enough size to swim a few lengths, sweeeet.
The encampment also has two of it’s own armed guards that patrol the camp perimeter and entrance of a night time between 6pm and 8am and fire two rounds into the air at 6pm every evening. This is merely a preventative of any attack as it has been known in the area for thefts to occur by locals that have heard of lots of gringos (white folk/westerners) in the area and this we do not need especially whilst under the influence of a deep Ayahuasca journey/vision!
My hand hurts terribly as I’ve not written this much in a very, very long time!: )
After the great feed I returned to my tambo to write some more into my journal as, although my hand was killing me from so much writing, I was now a little hooked and wanted to jot down as much as I could about the experience and didn’t want to fall behind as I knew that I may never catch up again! The ol’ slippery slope hey : ) As I sat down to write I heard a noise! Something was moving within the walls of my hut! A little anxious I scuttled about looking for my head torch as the kerosene lamp wasn’t bright enough and the room was dimly lit. Again I heard movement and as I found the head torch and shone it down to the corner of the room, there he was! A frog! Haha thank god for that! He had somehow slipped through my netting! After licking its back a little i carefully helped him outside. Just kidding hehe I did so without touching him as his colouring was particularly bright and I didn’t want to end up either dying or running around off my head as some frogs here are highly hallucinogenic! I’ll leave that to the Ayahuasca : ) frogs are amazing climbers out here and as I’m writing this I’m thinking that there is another one scaling the wall ready to penetrate the fortress once more! What’s so inviting in here for them? Anyway, my hand is now crippled and I’m signing off and turning in for the night! Buenos notches… ciao for now
During the night, about 2am my worst fears turned to reality as I woke up absolutely gagging to use the toilet! Oh very dear! It had been fine if it wasn’t for all the snake talk earlier! I considered using a bottle but was afraid someone would hear me hehe so I donned my head torch and bit the bullet. It was lightly raining and it was actually very nice outside once my eyes had readjusted! The toilets were all the way round the other side of the dam too! Dam it! ( terrible pun! ; )DAY 3
Good morning jungle! It must be at least 3-4am I’m guessing and not a hint of sunlight yet, still pitch black due to the thick cloud cover and just as I began to write, the sound of movement grabbed my attention from across the room and seemed to grow closer and closer to me upon the bed adjacent to mine! Phew, it is a dear little mouse! Cool! He ran across my belongings on the bed, took a moment to stop and look me square in the eyes and then continued about his business as I can hear him scampering around. Now he’s back again to see me, sweet! The mouse is one of my power animals so I’m considering the possibility that this might mean something. Coincidently, the other day at the airport, just as I thought about starting this journal, a spider appeared from nowhere and was crawling on my person (which is also one of my power animals and represents creativity) and what should happen but I begin my journal and end up writing 9-10 pages!! Hmmm creative no? Animals are said always to come in to your life for a particular reason I guess the next task is knowing these reasons and the perception of the encounter is the key! This is not the first time mind you that this has happened with the spider as more than once have I sat down to pursue something creative and a spider has appeared! Hmm again : ) Rain is gently caressing the canopy above and has been on and off throughout the night. I have just now left a fresh walnut on the corner of the spare bed for my little mouse friend in case he is hungry though he is rummaging about in the roof at the moment and I’ve a feeling he’s not the only one doing so! The jungle is totally alive with nature tonight. A totally rich and diverse symphony of sounds though the frog calls have subsided a lot. Man they are loud but also therapeutic! I do believe it’s starting to get a little lighter outside though very slightly unless my eyes deceive me or the clouds have dispersed letting a little moonlight through. Though thinking about it now, a wee while ago I did hear a rooster calling so i’m pretty certain on that note that it is indeed sunlight! Yippeeeee The mouse has returned and checked out the nut I had left but it seems that it is not to his taste! Oh well. Man I love this place (have I said that already? ; ) everything smells really damp and fusty but what of it? : ) there could be worse environments to be in! I have incense to burn. I think I will make another toilet run (he says as the rain comes down much harder! Doh ) and meditate for a while. Adios!
At 10am we all met at the temple for another meeting as would become a regular occurrence with the Maestras and Shamens (also known as Curanderas ‘os’ or Ayahuasceras ‘os’ I‘m guessing the differing spellings are purely for the masculine and feminine differences but haven‘t actually asked) and one by one we explained our healing intentions for the workshop enabling them to set a course of action for our individual and specific preparations. (the things that we had hoped to heal/gain from the ceremonies)
I stated my
belief that I had experienced many past traumatic experiences as a child that were buried deep in my subconscious that were somehow holding me back from discovering my full potential and my life path along with possible and numerous past life experiences to the same effect. I also asked that they clear a pathway to a better intuition and connection with my spirit guides as to aid me in the intuitive healing of others during the healing work that I have been pursuing over that past three years that has been getting more powerful and intuitive over time and producing some very positive results! On a physical level I explained that I have ongoing and continual pain in my neck and various areas mainly down the right hand side of my body sparking questions of an energetic block along my energy system somewhere. (this however is also, to a great extent due to a motorcycle accident some years ago and some displaced and broken bones etc. There is also a possible allergy/intolerance, possibly from dairy products that has been causing a light eczema on my legs which I would like to get to the bottom of. The Curanderos now know what I would like them to work on and they have set a plan of action for the upcoming ceremonies and have noted particular healing plant remedies to prepare for me as they are true masters in this field. Though I have stated my healing intentions for the workshop there is a saying that ‘Ayahuasca doesn’t always heal you in the ways that you want or expect, but always in the ways that you truly need!’. I’m open to it either way and realise that it will work on me for the highest and best good either way! It would also be nice if they could clear the blockage that’s causing much pain in my right hip. I was a little nervous explaining this in front of the group as I tend to clamp up a little in a group situation (something apparently also passed over from a past life experience!.) but that’s what I’m here to overcome after all!
Tonight at 9pm we will all lay on our specially placed mattresses in a large circle within the temple and drink Ayahuasca and as it’s my first time I will drink just over half a small cup. There are two cups and the larger of the two is about one and a half small ones approximately. There will always be people around to help me should the experience be get too much and many healers to help bring me out of the experiences should I need it and I trust in their expertise. Also it is advised not to try to speak during the ceremony as it may prove detrimental to another participants experience as a sudden disturbance could bring someone out of a deep vision and cleansing. The same goes for touching others unless expressly permitted beforehand by that person. Different things may happen during the ceremonies but generally these are the guidelines to try to adhere to unless otherwise stated. Oh yes, something quite funny about dinner ! In the centre of the dining tables there had been placed some leaves which had about 3-4 inches of root stalk attached in a bowl with some round balls I later found out were to slowly release water to the roots. I’d been eating these leaves the whole time thinking that (like Asia) they were some kind of plant to aid digestion but upon asking about the staff, the answer I got was a little unexpected! I was told that they were merely there for decoration and Cielo was laughing fairly and said that was the first time that anyone had eaten them! Haha whoops! I later saw the same shoots growing out of the tree trunk next to the dining room! Doh haha they did taste ok though and luckily were not poisonous! I’d like to think that my intuition and instinct would have kicked in to stop me had it been poisonous though! : ) most certainly!
At 3pm we wandered down to the temple for massages by the Maestras so that they could identify with our bodies and energy blocks/needs etc in preparation for the evening ceremony and I must say it was awesome and just what I needed! They hold within them a gentle strength beyond what you’d expect and a profound knowledge of the human biological and energetic system.
Leading up to the ceremony I let my hair down for a while and decided to get my camera gear out and to finally take some pictures of the retreat which was nice. When darkness finally fell upon us, around 7pm, we realised that the moon was pretty much full which was both amazing to behold and even more amazing to think that our first Ayahuasca ceremony would be on such an energy packed evening given the power and might of the moon’s feminine energy and the usual influence it usual had on me.
We gathered at the temple around 8pm in order to prepare our minds and bodies for the ceremony .it was all set out perfectly and held a fantastic vibe that made me feel at ease instantly. It was dimly lit with a couple of oil lamps burning. The mattresses, set out in a large circle in their own individual space with a few in the centre for the six Maestras and the two Shamens. Some of the group were on their individual mattresses preparing themselves by practicing a range of yoga asanas and breathing techniques which I then proceeded to practice myself. Just fifteen minutes before the ceremony though I didn’t feel quite as prepared as I’d liked to be so I disappeared outside for ten minutes to go sit by the lake and practice some chanting and some overtoning. Doing this near instantly brought an innate calm throughout my body instilling a deeply relaxed alpha state which I was wanting to achieve. Feeling adequately prepared I rejoined the group and my space in the temple. Luckily for the group, none of the women involved were menstruating during this period (pardon the pun : ) as this greatly affects the energies of the group and ceremony and it is said that the spirits do not come! All good. Everyone was hugging and well wishing for the impending experience and although the participants were there for their own individual healing there was a great feeling of togetherness amongst us all. In groups of five or so we were beckoned to face the Curanderos in order to receive our first cup of the Ayahuasca brew. This consists of both the Ayahuasca, which is a root vine native to the South American jungle which holds unbridled healing capabilities and a plant also native called Chacruna, which is the plant that brings the visions through the natural form of D.M.T. this can bring profound visions of both past, present, and future in many, many different ways and no two experiences will be the same! The mixture comes in a thick brown consistency though not as thick as I’d expected due to others previous experiences with it but all Shamens tend to slightly differ in their approach and many use different plant extracts as there are many differing concoctions. We then sat in front of the Curanderos with the cup in hand, or out in front and set our intentions for what we’d hoped to gain from the experience as this is very important. Setting your intention before the ceremony is vital as to both show the spirit of Ayahuasca your commitment and trust in the plant and the commitment to your healing. I also input lots of love and energy into the liquid as to get better acquainted with it and to generally bring out the best in the experience!
Well, down the hatch it went! Not the most pleasant of things to grace my taste buds but definitely not the worst! It distinctly reminded me of the taste of Irish Guiness stout but without the alcoholic kick at the end! I returned to my mattress, washed my mouth out with water and spat it into my purge bowl. (we all have a purging bowl by our beds at all times as once the brew kicks in we may find ourselves feeling the need to vomit! Now, you can purge in many ways but this is one way that Ayahuasca will rid your body of any physical, mental and emotional impurities/negativities and even psychic debris that is trapped within your energy system somewhere! This is such a powerful form of healing, it really heals on every possible level of your entire being! I arranged the bowl alongside the bed along with my head torch, stones and anything else I may need during the ceremony so I knew where they all were as I knew that I may soon be a little disorientated. I sat up in lotus pose to await the experience to come whilst practicing deep breathing so as to combat any nausea that may arise and to aid the union with the spirit of the plant. Almost instantly I could sense the substance coursing through my system and when I closed my eyes there were already hints of something happening visually in the form of colours and lights. Once all the group had drank their cups the lamps were extinguished and the healers that hadn’t drank had also drank a small cup each by torchlight. Then, complete silence…darkness…and I waited!
Also during this process, the spirit of the plant was showing me that I was far too self conscious and instead of just letting go I was always worrying what others thought of me (connected partly to lack of confidence and partly to ego) and am far too over sensitive to it. Lesson 1.
We had been advised during the meeting that if our experience became too intense and unbearable at any time that we could raise our hand and ask for help and I turn, the Maestras would present themselves and use techniques that would lessen the experience and after some people had done so, they were almost immediately brought out of their visionary experience (Mareacion). I however, so far had not had to call for help thus far thank god : ) some had tried, but after failing to have the strength to do so verbally, they had done so internally and via a telepathic connection (something the Maestras are very connected with )and almost instantly, one or more of them would appear at the side of the participant in need to give them the love and support that they had needed at that time! Also, the two Shamens Horaico and Aroldo were at hand to point the Maestras in the right direction should they themselves be undergoing a particularly potent mareacion. All of the healers possess the profound ability to see and to sense the auric field of the participants among many other gifts allowing them great insight into what each and every participant needs during the ceremonies including energy blocks, past lives/ traumas etc and are finely tuned in to each individuals requirements. They seem to know automatically what each participant is experiencing and whether they need help or not!
DAY 4
At 12pm we had another wonderfully aromatic floral bath with the forever chuckling Maestras and was left feeling and smelling like an air freshener in a western toilet! (only perfectly natural, invigorating and not over powering ) not to mention vital in the facilitation of the Ayahuasca healing as they work in conjunction and are even the 12pm timing is an essential part of it!
Just one thing. I did have a negative experience today that has been playing on my mind and has left me a little anxious and feeling a little down. It has left me in a fame of mind that I’d really rather not be in so I’m writing this to try to alleviate it a little and to try to release the feeling before the ceremony. Now I’m writing this from a detached perspective from right or wrong and without letting my ego play any part. This morning whilst relaying my experience to some of the group I explained that at the same time that I was receiving healing from the Curanderos, that I was also letting a loving and divine energy flow from my body into the room and into the group in order to connect as a group consciousness. This energy was in the form of a divine love (the true form of any healing energy in the universe) and open to any person that on a soul level desired to connect with it and to receive it. I was also very aware and careful in the way I presented this offering in the way that I had offered it directly to the highest and best wishes of all concerned and directly to the ‘higher aspect/higher selves)’ of the group. The higher self of each individual being the part of you on a soul level still being situated in the heavenly plains (so to speak) that is all knowing, wise and connected with the divine itself (source) that would discern from there whether it is of true benefit to the given individual. It makes no mistakes and cannot and would not pose any threat to any participant, Maestra or Shamen. It was purely an attempt to connect to the group as a whole and on the level of true ‘oneness’ that is the underlying reality of the universe and to make a conscious attempt to connect and integrate with this divine reality for there is only one true emotion, that of love. Whether it was accepted or not was not my decision nor was it my personal energy I was offering (which no doubt would be tarnished in some way I‘d be the first to admit) but I was merely offering my love toward the group as a conduit light of energy emanating from a divine source. 
DAY 5
After writing so much yesterday (which is something I’m really not accustomed to) I was left feeling incredibly stiff and tense so at 8pm I headed to the lakeside to unwind and prepare for the 9pm ceremony. I meditated for a while but it wasn’t until I began to chant for a while that I really began to relax and reach the required states for the ceremony. Also I gave myself a little self healing that helped even more. I just about managed to reach a decent meditative state in time for the ceremony. The moon was in full bloom. Its energy felt super strong and believe me, it revealed itself during the ceremony! I may be a little vague with my words today (even more than usual : ) as the experience last night was so unbelievably powerful and intense I barely managed any sleep, at least not until 4am at the very latest! I then had to get up at 6.30am to visit the Maestras at 7am for another steam bath and other plant medicine! Also after two consecutive days of ceremony I had consumed very little water so I’m pretty damn dehydrated especially considering the extremely high humidity here! On each day of a ceremony we are advised to drink water only up until 3pm and not after as this can affect the experience and is considered ‘heavy’. Also, our last meal on the day of a ceremony is at 1pm and considering the ceremony is at 9pm and will go on at least until 1am it’s a pretty long stint without food also! (well for me at least! ‘Hungry Taurean Comin Through’ ; )
I had taken my allocated spot once more within the circle and this time I had taken my sleeping bag as the previous night I had gotten a little chilly in the early hours as you always feel the temperature drop in the jungle about 4-5am, or in most places for that matter. This time I had given the henge stone to Cielo to work with deciding that tonight I would work with the Moss Agate stone I had also brought to work with, being advise during a crystal healing some two years ago that it would benefit my grounding and integration with the earth energies etc. (only after checking through my notes from that session did I go and buy one! Better late than never and always at the perfect time huh?) this time as many people had some intense experiences the previous night they had opted for a smaller cup of Ayahuasca but I thought I would try, instead of half a small cup, a whole big cup instead. Why the hell not. I was hoping for some major healing after all and felt that I was in safe hands! I think I’ve mentioned before but in case I haven’t, there’s not too much difference between a small and large cup, I guess the large consists of around one and a half small cups! Saying that the difference in experience of ‘mareacion’ can indeed differ greatly! It would go on to prove to be THE most powerful, traumatic, at times torturous, humbling and enlightening experience of my entire life! As the cup was so big compared to the small one I could not manage to swallow it ‘shot style’ and it took my two full gulps which proved to be far more difficult and the thought alone is sending shudders through my body as I type this out! Haha I struggled to hold it down a bit and managed to race to my placement to rinse my mouth out, spitting the water out into my purging bowl. After a minute or two the taste had subsided and my taste buds had acclimatised so I settled back onto my mattress to await the effects. I knew that it would not take long as my stomach was so empty it would race to absorb every last millilitre of anything that touched its lining!
The ayahuasca relentlessly raged through me purging my physical body in the form of profuse sweating as I went from hot to cold and back to hot again. I rolled around from lying on my front to my back and back to my front again trying to find the comfort zone that never came! The nausea was also near on unbearable and I occasionally hit panic and frantically looked around from left to right for my purging bowl. The purge also, never came! Why was I not purging like the others? Was I holding onto some negative aspects on some deeper level? Though I was purging majorly through my sweat glands and at one point I had ripped my t-shirt from my body in fit of desperation (and very almost, my shorts but I think some higher guidance had stopped me from doing so, which would have seen me rolling around naked) I continued to roll around in torment. A torrid abundance of chatter, loud sounds that sounded like an otherworldly craft was hovering above engulfed me along with the feeling that there were also otherworldly beings overseeing the whole process! Was this so? It sure felt like it and I wouldn’t be the first, nor the last the mention this kind of experience! I occasionally gave in, internally calling for help hoping the Curanderas would pull me out of such turmoil. The sound of the Icaros entered my being along with a swirling vision around in my head of the Maestras and Shamens in a super animated way, making my head spin. I then realised that this WAS the help! This WAS the lesson! The healing that I’d travelled so far to receive! Aaaagghh I pulled at my hair and running my hands over my perspiration soaked frame tapping it like a drum it felt just that! A frame. A housing of biological matter. A container, a vessel to merely house my true identity, my true spirit self! I was beginning to learn lessons as the thoughts in my brain were being reset at every attempt to try to analyse the situation. At every attempt at analysis, the thoughts would appear in my minds eye as words but almost instantly be erased and reset. Now this is difficult to explain but the more it tried to think or analyse, the worse I felt! I was being taught something I was somehow being taught and shown the constructs and programming of the human brain in some way. Then one word sprang to mind. The word the I’d been told to carry with me to the workshop from my psychic friend via spirit. Spirit had apparently given her one word that I would need to keep in mind throughout my experience! That word was to ‘surrender!’ I was being shown how to let go of the attachment to my conscious mind. That attachment to over thinking and over analysis of just about everything. Something I’m only too aware of in my waking life. It was somehow trying to rid me of this attachment. Still in a tormented state I would take a deep breath, and relax my whole being, my body, my mind, everything and almost instantly I would feel so much, sooo much better as a feeling of bliss engulfed me. Then again, out of nowhere my mind would kick in once more placing words in my minds eye. The analysis had begun once more and with it, the turmoil! My attachment to the physical was putting up one hell of a fight! Not only that, I had a deep fear that if I let go and surrendered to much that my whole physical system would relax so much that it would indeed empty itself all over my mattress! I’m sure you understand what I mean by this! Self defecation anyone? Hmm. This went on for some time swinging between analysis, torment, surrender and bliss. Only, the intervals were getting shorter and shorter as I was beginning to grasp the lesson! Each time my brain would get in the way once more there was something, somewhere, almost shaking its head and tut tutting at me sort of saying, hmmm you’re not quite getting it are you? Have some more turmoil until you do! I occasional broke out into a deep and brief chuckle as I knew what I was being taught, I just knew it, but letting go was so damn hard! I realised how attached I had become to the constructs and programming of my mind that was controlling me, instead of me controlling it! Exactly what the Indian yogis are overcoming during their silent meditations! These are all techniques to overcome just that! I was pulling at my hair thinking at times that I had bitten off far more than I could chew! Again I would surrender, but eventually and without any conscious control over it, as I surrendered (already feeling as if there was a build up in my shorts by now allowing me to carry on regardless) I broke out into a long and lingering vocal chant! A deep hum. As I did this my entire being surrendered to the Ayahuasca. Here you go, have me. Take me, I surrender! As this happened I was not only deeply relaxed. I seemed to have left the constraints of my physical frame altogether. Not only that, the moment I started to hum, I was engulfed by a pure and white light! I was experiencing the divine light! My true form, the form of light and spirit! With this came an immense and indescribable feeling of love and bliss and the feeling of being safe! This went on for some time as my mind was putting up a hell of a fight but in experiencing the divine and perfect light, it wasn’t so hard to go straight back into!
It is only when you lose the attachment to your mind that you gain great insight and experience the core essence of pure consciousness. By eliminating thought process and by surrendering this and flowing into the vibration of the chant it had opened up doors to a pure and euphoric bliss! Now, any spiritual or religious text you will read will probably have something along these lines in it somewhere! It is the fear of the unknown that leads you to fall back within the constructs of materialism and the programming of conscious thought, this of course has its place but we must be in control of it and aware at all times!
After the beautiful Icaros from Horacio and he had moved on, I lay back sporting a huge grin from ear to ear both glad that the ordeal/lesson was, at least for the time being, over and for the totally enlightening experience that I had undertaken. I decided to check to see whether my worst fears had came true by nervously reaching down and checking the contents of my shorts! Nothing! Haha praise the lord! I had not released and purged anything in that form which I was extremely grateful for also! There in lie another great lesson! In surrendering to the spirit of the Ayahuasca it, it had also looked after me and led me to believe that my fears were yet another creation formed by the fears of my mind! Phew! Another thing that made me smile! : )
Now, it turns out that I was not the only one to have had such a powerful experience, nor was I the only one to have experienced the divine light! On top of that, I was not the only one that was overcome with the subconscious urge to create some kind of vocal chant/vibration. At least three or four of us had had remarkably similar experiences during the ceremony and not only that, we had all felt a phenomenal sense of oneness and deep connection to each other and indeed every person there if not all beings everywhere! I also felt strong sensations that, as a group we were there for some higher purpose and that most, if not all had been together at some point before! Be it in spirit, human form or other wise at some point in our evolution. Later I also had felt a strong reconnection with my inner child and had bouts of almost uncontrollable inner bliss and child like joy and excitement. Maybe this was the connection to my soul self opening up I’m not quite sure. This bounced to and throw from bouts of extreme nausea but again without any sign of vomiting. (which I’d hoped for to make myself better and to acknowledge the release of something,/anything negative. The whole experience had left me totally shattered and I did not even have the strength (or the balance) to get up to navigate my way to the toilet as the fear of collapse midway ran through my mind. Only when it got to about 4am did I slowly but surely attempt to make a drunken like stumble toward to direction of the toilet. It proved to be a little taxing but i returned to the temple unscathed : ) I then crouched at the end of, what I thought was my bed ,staring at it to recalibrate my sight and to make sure it really was my bed for at least five minutes before I knew for sure that no one was actually in it and it wasn’t the wrong spot entirely! Thankfully I then curled up and managed a good two hours deep sleep which was much needed!
At one point this afternoon I strolled past Horacio in the porch to his tambo and he was carving a piece of wood. It turned out to be a new tobacco pipe so I fetched him some pieces of sand paper and bees wax in order for him to smooth and treat the wood after he was finished carving it. In doing so he then gave me his old pipe! Wow, such an energy packed item to have been given! I was over the moon and I then decided that I would carve him a gift in return out of the ebony wood I had brought from England. Tomorrow I will commence carving and I’m looking forward to that! Also, I think that tomorrow, I will drink a small cup of Ayahuasca! : )
DAY 6
I awakened this morning and really didn’t want to exit my bed as I was still very sleepy. I had a very deep sleep after a very slow and lazy day resting . A few of us spent some time in the temple last night and were exchanging healing and massage work which was nice and generally having some nice, open conversation as we were left to our own devices. I got up at 7am and having pretty blocked sinuses. I realised that the Ayahuasca was purging my body of many impurities. In Reiki healing this can be called a healing crisis, which can seem like cold or flu like symptoms when the physical body decides to have a little clear out so to speak. I headed over to the Maestra’s hut once again for my morning steam bath only to find that it was planned for tomorrow now instead! Doh! I could’ve stayed in bed after all! Oh well, it got me up and mobile. While I was there I mentioned my blocked sinuses and they prepared yet another plant remedy for me to take. This would be an ingestion via the nose and the Maestra, holding a spoon of it gently poured it into each of my nostrils as I lightly sniffed to aid its integration into my system. Phew, it burned my nose a little and also when it hit my pallet but it wasn’t too bad. It did clear my nose for a little while but I realised it would take some time and it was a work in progress as my body was undergoing a process it had to go through at the same time.
Tonight I will drink a full small cup to have a much milder and smoother experience tonight as I’m still rather tired from last nights escapade : ). There is always help when it is needed during the ceremony so I’ll relax, safe and content in this knowledge. You may put your hand in the air if the visions, nausea etc get a little overpowering and ask for help to alert the Curanderas and they will use specific techniques on you, some of which I’ve seen bring people out from their experience in an instant! One of which being, to wipe your face with the oil/juice of the Chacruna plant! This is powerful and works very quickly and somehow counteracts the internal effects not to mention the techniques they themselves are using energetically or ‘magically’ . It’s mind blowing the relationship with and the knowledge that these women have of the plants of their surroundings but takes many years of complete dedication and sacrifice and I have the utmost respect for them. In order to integrate with each of the medicinal teacher/healer plants, the Curanderas must undergo a very strict diet ( Dieta ) of just a handful of particular vegetables and sometimes one or two types of fish. I’ve realised that I haven’t mentioned the strict diet regime that I have been on in order to prepare for this workshop though I’ll briefly mention a couple of points! We were/are to consume no salt, sugar, chemicals of any kind (both internally and externally, via soap, shampoo, general cosmetics etc) particular meats, especially pork, (none of any kind is better) no herbs and spices and many more. The complete list is on their website. Templeofthewayoflight.org . So this more than applies to the plant Dieta! Many foods are just not conducive with Ayahuasca and can cause problems if consumed together as they can react with one another in the stomach! During the dieta, the Curanderos would live in near solitude in the depths of the jungle and have only their teacher for guidance and a little company. This can span from months up to years and the longest dieta that Horacio has undertaken is 11 years! That’s the dedication these guys have put in to gain these miraculous and magical abilities and to become connected with the plant spirits! It is here that they diet with the chosen plant of which they want to integrate the knowledge, wisdom and spirit guidance of and after some time, the spirit of the plant will communicate with them and begin giving them Icaros in order to summon the spirit of the plant and it‘s healing potential. Each of the individual Icaros that are sung for us are channelled by the healers from spirit and are extremely powerful!
DAY 7
The day was mostly spent hammock swinging in the temple and chatting. The usual floral bath was at 12pm but we had an extra one with Ayahuasca in it this time at 5pm. (just a minute ago)These are all important preparations for the ceremony and each floral mixture is to cleanse you in a different way! This is why it is very important to dry yourself naturally afterward so the mixture can be absorbed into the physical body over time. I gave one member a healing session today as she was feeling a great deal of anxiety (something that was brought to surface by the healing process) since the previous ceremony which was a strong, personal and emotional experience and thankfully it helped to clear some of that anxiety. I felt pretty good from it too and hopefully we can both look forward to tonight’s ceremony feeling a hundred percent. It also has seemed to both clear my sinuses and to help my ear unblocking also! (if I haven’t mentioned it my ears were a bit waxy and I made the schoolboy error of using a cotton bud which only flattened it against my ear drum causing a deafness in that ear! Doh! Silly boy, I will learn one day! )
Tonight I will ingest a whole large cup once more as I think that in order to receive the deep healing I’d come here for that this dosage is an adequate amount. After hearing of other group members experiences I asked the Curanderas during the meeting if they could call upon individual spirits of deceased loved ones to which they replied positively. I decided to ask them if they could call forth the spirit of my mother as I think that if she came through to visit me it would provoke some deep healing in me, clearing past childhood trauma buried deep in my subconscious from my loss of her presence all those years ago. She died when I was just past three years old. I’ve since dealt with this loss but subconscious works in many ways to protect you from traumas by burying them deep within on an unconscious level and even though you may not be aware of them they will still affect you in some way during your day to day lives. I feel comfortable in the knowledge that everything happens for particular reasons and that nothing truly dies but it would still be nice to have a little contact after all these years. I had to write down my mother’s full name on a piece of paper eight times and give one copy to each of the healers so they could call upon her spirit. They had done this last night for a group member and his brother had came through to communicate with him during a vision. This had brought him massive closure on a personal level and was very conducive to his healing journey. This would be a profound healing experience for me and I’m aware it may bring forth a new level of grieving as I was very young when we parted company. We will see.
I have two new stones to work with tonight as last night I hadn’t used any and the level of ‘mareacion’ was very mild although to be honest, it was much the same for most of the group as the whole energy of the ceremony last night was very subtle and different and this time, differing Icaros were sung in a much gentler fashion. I had been told before I came here that the fourth ceremony was to be a very powerful healing for me so we’ll see what happens! That does not mean it will be an intense one though.
This morning, along with a few others I was suffering from a bout of diarrhoea and struggling to hold my food but with no stomach pain whatsoever. The Maestras again compiled a jungle mixture for me to drink using some kind of tree bark medicine amongst other things. This time it was actually rather pleasant as I was preparing for the worst before I had drunk it. : ). I think it’s working already! I do hope so as I’d really rather not have the problem arise during ceremony when I am unable to navigate my way to the toilet! It is probably my way of purging I guess! Hehe I’m so hungry now I’m starting to fantasise about food but I cannot eat until after the ceremony in the early hours of the morning. I must also give my full attention and focus toward the ceremony to come and concentrate on my intentions for the healing. Still bloody hungry though! Damn my Taurean appetite!
Oh I thought I’d mention that there was a guy here on the previous workshop that had terminal cancer and he had two large melanomas in his body before he came. Within a few ceremonies he had managed to completely heal one of them! He actually became very weak and had to be carried out of the jungle and taken back to Iquitos where he is working with a very famous man that works by actually injecting healing plant extracts directly into the blood. I think he is the only person that does this, (in the world) holds the knowledge that he does and has had extremely powerful healing results around the world. I hope he can eradicate the second cancerous lump although I hear it is a very large one! There’s nothing that can’t be healed! Providing it’s in you dharma of course! Good luck brother! I know that at some point he is planning on returning to the temple. It is for cases like these that the temple are planning on building their own hospital once they have the money to do so, so if you’re looking for a worthy cause to invest some charitable funds into then this would be an extremely worthy cause! The staff also have a guy coming in to assess every possible natural energy source that is available at the camp therefore enabling them to generate their own power! There would be solar and hydro power for a start! Ayahuasca has healed a very high case of terminally ill individuals over many years and I read the other day of a particular Shamen in Hawaii that has an eighty percent success rate during his ceremonies over the years! This has also happened in this temple many times though I don’t have any statistics. Maybe I could’ve taken a few more notes while I was here!
The temple is now set up for the next ceremony as I look out over the lake from my tambo but I will not head over too early tonight as last night, after a meditation I fell asleep and was woken up in just in time to drink the Ayahuasca. (not the nicest thing to ingest upon waking from a gentle sleep!). Hopefully I will experience something profound this evening and clear a lot of negativity from my subconscious. I must be off now and begin preparations for the ceremony, ciao for now : )
DAY 8
After a good preparation for the ceremony last night with some yoga and meditation, the Shamens arrived with the Ayahuasca. In groups of five or so we approached the centre of the circle to once again, set our intentions and to drink the brew. This time I had almost a full large cup it was much easier to drink than the previous night as this time I held my nose which helped tremendously. I had however forgotten to remain holding my nose until I made it to my bed, and the water bottle in order to wash my mouth out giving me the horrid taste before needed be : ). I lie back in the hope of a profound cleansing and in the hope of the Shamens successfully summoning the presence of my mother’s spirit.
The lights went out and we waited in silence. It was at least half an hour before the familiar sound of somebody purging filled the air. On that cue to begin, Horacio began a quiet Icaros shortly followed by the Maestras and the volume increased very subtly over time along with the power and energy of them. Their voices, as always, harmonious and melodic. I began to have very mild visions but nothing that seemed to have any particular meaning though I’m certain it was healing on some level and trusted that that was occurring. I was a little surprised that as I had drunk so much that the level of ‘mareacion’ was so mild so within an hour I crept across the floor to where Aroldo was situated in order to drink another cup. Which slid down very well this time! This time I drank another full small cup. I was again, surprised that the combination of the two cups, large and small hadn’t brought on more powerful visions but I had to remain calm and trusting that all was as it should be and kept reassuring myself to that effect. Eventually, two, three, and then four of the Maestras had appeared at the foot of my mattress and began to sing for me. This time the Icaros were sung in a very gentile and soft manner which was beautiful. I was concentrating on the remarkable tones they were producing that were entering my body. They began to blow the mapacho smoke through my aura and into my crown chakra also wiping my face and hands with a particular liquid (which has particular significance that would be working on me on an energetic level and when they rub it into the palms of your hands it aids the opening and strengthening of the important energy centres (chakras, energy exchange portals) which we have there. Another reason why we shake hands when we meet, as to communicate on an energetic level! They spent a lot of time with me last night and were occasionally conferring quietly with one another obviously analysing the various blockages and things they were seeing in my being. The whole time though I was considering yet another cup of Ayahuasca! By the time they were done though I had thought against another cup as, if the spirits were going to show me anything profound via visions then it would have happened already I thought! I have to say though, something had happened beforehand though not in the way I’d hoped. I’ve since learnt to appreciate this for what it was and am very happy and content because of it! During a vision, which was very mild I was thinking of my mother and asking her to come forward. In my minds eye I saw the words ‘will not come’ clear as day. The words seemed to be made of sticks! This is when I had another cup as I thought maybe I needed to be under a deeper ‘mareacion’. After that I lie back and received the words ‘ I love you’, ‘I miss you’ and ‘ I’ll be back soon’, all in my minds eye. You see, this is why people are warned against having preconceived ideas and expectations of what they want to experience as it may not happen in the way that you hope, hence setting you up for a possible fall! Now, I had hoped for some miraculous and profound reunion with my mother and in doing so I hadn’t truly appreciated that she had contacted me via the form of word symbolism as I was upset that I hadn’t actually seen her etc.
I now realise that I was truly blessed that she came through and contacted me at all! I’ve since found out a reason for this distance keeping by my mother but I will explain that at a later time as I was alerted to this once I had returned home during a psychic tarot reading!
The ceremony ended and for once I managed to stand up! Strange, seeing how much Ayahuasca I had drunk! Although a little unsteady, I made my way to the toilet with the occasional wobble and pause to gather myself and orientation. I made it ok but on the return leg of the seemingly arduous journey I made it half way and had to squat before my imminent collapse. I was overcome by a tremendous spate of nausea all of a sudden like a bat out of hell! Smiling to myself I regained my composure and my bearings and found my bed (though still with the usual readjustment time making sure I had the right one as not to disturb anyone else. As one time I did get the wrong bed and accidentally stood on someone’s leg!) some of the guys brought me over some fruit which I tucked into and was much needed though it did not help with the nausea! Why was I not purging? By this time all I wanted to do was to have a damn good vomit like most of the others! Hehe At times I felt like I was suppressing something that I badly needed to release though there are many ways of purging and it’s not the be all and end all as everybody is different! I still wanted a good puke damn it! : ) I was alerted by a friend of the beauty of the sky outside and she very patiently helped me outside to ogle the natural splendour that the sky had to offer! The clouds, a steely blue velvet sheet across the sky with ripples not unlike those on a shimmering pond and the moon causing the moon to create a vast orb like halo around it. Spectacular! I wasn’t feeling the greatest, but this helped immensely! Feeling a little better but still very tender we quietly said our farewells and I wobbled off in the direction of my tambo. On arrived I fell onto my bed and feeling particularly nauseous I realised that I had left behind both my purge bowl and my water bottle! I only just made it here so making it back was out of the question. On top of that, I needed to use the toilet again and as I lay back, the visuals had returned in a rather strong surging fashion! Aaaggh hehe Fearing the worst and the possible peppering of my tambo and possessions in vomit I reached over, finding one of my shoes to act as a temporary purge bowl should I really need it, following up for the other one in case one wasn’t enough! : ) Luckily, after some deep breathing and concentration, I fell asleep! Phew!
DAY 9
Last night, during the ceremony I felt much more at ease and trusting of the healing powers of the Ayahuasca and the Curanderos and much more positive overall! I felt intuitively that it was indeed working on me at a much deeper level than I could understand. It took effect rather quickly this time as with the initial ceremonies so I think that the complete, full large cup is the right dose for me to drink at the start. I did have a couple of things come up during the night. One of them being a vision of being a child within a situation and being subjected to a particular kind of abuse. I had always suspected that such a situation had occurred in my childhood and feel that I was being shown it to give me clarity on the subject so I could then let it go and finally sever any negative ties that have followed me around, affecting my everyday life until now. This felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and it felt good to have cleared and released it finally. It came in the form of a vision but did not show me anything in great detail which may have either been too traumatic for me to re experience or it may not serve me well to experience the whole thing all over again who knows for sure but there were a number of varying similar, but unrelated negative situations that came to me during the visions that I gained some clarity on enabling me to let them go also. This ceremony and healing seemed to carry a particular theme I was becoming aware of!
At one point my nose had captured the faint aroma of white sage and as it did so I had a vision of an American Indian artefact not unlike a dream catcher with many feathers hanging from it, giving me the feeling of a past life vision link. I tried to smell the aroma once again but it had vanished which was strange and nobody was burning white sage in the room I know that! It could well have been the sense of a particular spirit around me or a past life link I’m not sure which but it did feel as if there was a past life connection somehow. I do know that when particular spirits are around it’s not uncommon for people to pick up on particular aromas that they may have been around in human form i.e. a grand father that used to smoke cigars etc therefore picking up the smell of cigar smoke when their spirit is around you etc. Overall I felt completely relaxed and this time. The Maestra that sang for me did so with an exceptionally powerful and vocal approach and was very animated as she seemed to be surrounding and blessing my whole energy field and entire being with her hands. Horacio also sang something different, unlike I’ve heard from him thus far and both Icaros seemed to convey considerable power, might and intensity. The ceremony was reasonably short this time but it still took me at least three or so hours to gather myself enough to get up. As we had to be out of the temple by 7am this time I managed, very slowly and quietly, to gather my things and return to my tambo for a sleep. In my usual drunken like stumble that is! : ) I was surprised to find out that it was still only about 3.30am and after some more analysis of the nights experiences I drifted into a deep sleep.DAY 10
Today I woke up almost too late for breakfast at 7.45am! My god, heaven forbid : ). Thankfully after a speedy wash there was still some food left as I wasn’t the only latecomer. I think most of us were a little subdued after three ceremonies in as many days!
At 12pm a crew of nineteen had arrived in order to set up the temple in preparation for the wedding between Daniela and Marco, a Swiss couple and members of our group. They were going to get married in the temple and were going to have a traditional Shipibo wedding. (Shipibo being the native tribe of the healers) the temple was set up very elegantly with flowing white drapes, flowers and ribbons etc. It looked incredible and somewhat heavenly. The bride, groom, close friends and the staff all came adorned with traditional Shipibo clothing. The Shipibo wedding is a pretty short affair unlike the traditional English wedding with many added shenanigans that is really unnecessary some may say but it was very beautiful with the Maestras performing a group Icaros for the bride and groom casting their blessings over them. A full, banquet was laid on for everyone and we were this time, allowed to eat food that usually, was not conducive with the ingestion of Ayahuasca but the Shamen, Horacio, had cast some powerful protections over us all, and the food so that it would not affect us during the ceremonies! Sweeeeet! We even had cake! Sugar and everything! I almost fainted with sheer bliss as I noticed olives in one of the dishes that was laid out! Yippppeeeeeeeeee, something salty! Yeeesssssssssssss. I feel much better now as this morning I was a little subdued. My energy was very low and it lowered my spirits allowing negativity to creep on in but all is well now and seeing how terrible I was feeling, this really was comfort food at it’s finest! ; )
We all ate until we could no longer move and pretty much feeling a little queasy after the mass sugar rush having not eaten it in so long! The wedding went extremely well and a massive congratulations to the bride and groom, Marco and Daniela! Since then we have all been nursing our full bellies and having a very lazy day, catching up on lost sleep and pondering our experiences. Oh, there was an amazing thunderstorm last night I forgot to mention! It came mid ceremony and it added to the whole experience bringing a shift in the energy! Lots of thunder and lightening! I do feel as if I have let go of a couple of former attachments since I’ve been here and I’m wondering how much of a difference I’ll see in myself when I get home to England! If I didn’t have another year left at college I would definitely consider travelling again as this trip has gripped me once again and made my feet itch! : ). I feel like doing something of positive purpose and of good intention although if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from being here it’s that I must live in the moment much more than I have been. I must trust that all is as it should be, to follow my guidance and to be aware of the signs indicating the best paths to take. I must be constantly aware of the synchronistic meetings that occur in my life and to roll with the punches regardless of whether they lead me off the path I thought I was following or not! More on this later as these are happening more and more now since the course! I think it’s almost dinner time and I have some wedding cake to devour! Ciao for now : )
DAY 11
Today I have woken up feeling extremely sad again and rather negative. I had endured a number of negative dreams throughout the night and they have left me feeling a little down in the dumps! I guess it’s just another way of releasing negativity from my subconscious but I still feel blue! I quickly and quietly ate my breakfast and returned to my hammock to lick my wounds. I’m really not sure that I want to be here today but there is no way of me leaving so I must carry on regardless and ride it out. I feel rather lost and really don’t feel like drinking Ayahuasca again tonight and in a way have had enough of the way it makes me feel afterwards. I reside in the hope that there will be some positive and acknowledgeable healing taking place. Maybe I’m feeling like this as I am indeed undergoing some deep cleansing and healing and shedding negativities and impurities but at this present moment, I am unsure exactly what. I don’t like feeling this way I do know that! Springing to mind though is the process of my Reiki attunements I’ve had in the past. This can produce a similar effect! Once attuned to the Reiki energy, your body, via the chakra energy centres undergoes a similar cleansing. From one day to the next each chakra undergoes a cleansing and can bring up many negativities as they pass through your being before eventually being released. Your emotional state can fluctuate from minute to minute. This process takes twenty one days. As there are seven major centres and they go through three major cleanses each undergoing a fine tuning more and more each time. Again, I must stay positive and trusting of the Ayahuasca.
I explained of the group crystal healing evening that I had attended about a year and a half ago and that I was told, in a past life I was very powerful and had the ability to manipulate energy in many different ways. These are powers that the healers here possess also. I had, sadly, used these abilities for personal gain and not for selfless purposes. So I was told. One of the Maestras then replied that she too had seen into my past and had seen this very same lifetime but hadn’t mentioned it in case I had felt ashamed. I’m not the only person in the group that has had similar past life experiences and the Maestras explain that the sadness we are feeling is being caused by these subconscious past life memories and on a very deep level coming into consciousness. We are sad because of what we had done. For the past manipulation of others and the misuse of power! In the Shipibo community such individuals are or the negative ways they exhibit their powers are known as ‘Bruho’ now this may include the positive aspects also I’m not absolutely clear on that but in general means a person with this knowledge and capability. So, the negativity that I’m feeling stems from these past negative actions coming to the surface before allowing me to release them. Hmm, similar to the Reiki cleanse also. I’m seeing a subtle pattern here! I do hope I can release all of it so that it will no longer govern me in this life and hold me back! It certainly explains why I, all of a sudden and without prior planning, fell into the practice of energy work! Though gladly this time it was in a very positive form at first via Kundalini yoga ( at the agama yoga school in Thailand ) and the onto Reiki/Seichem healing also learnt in Thailand. (level one that is) these all came about through a very strange (at the time : ) sequence of events that seemed to guide me to each of them! I knew little about synchronicity at that time but was conscious that it was happening at the same time. That is another long and funny story altogether! : ) Also and again, there is more to this unravelling story later.
Another group member explained of her profound visionary experience during the ceremony. She explained that during a deep vision and as she was being sung an Icaros she had suddenly transformed into an American Indian Shamen. She was wearing the traditional, animal skin robes and the well known eagle head dress. The Maestra then stopped singing for a moment, then recommenced. As she did this the participant had and noticed an orb like entity of a dark matter surrounded by an orange glow shoot out of her chest and into that of the Maestra! With almost immediate effect, the Maestra had turned away and had purged the entity from her being via the form of vomiting into her purge bowl! This is just a fragment of the capabilities of the Maestras and a very profound one at that! I’ve read books before explaining how particular entities can somehow live within our energy field and disrupt our day to day lives in particular ways, feeding on our energy supply and possibly manipulating our thought process limiting our progress. I believe though, everything is in it’s rightful place and is also connected with our individual karma. As bad as it sounds these are the accumulation of karmic debt, so to speak, over many lifetimes and we will clear them then the time is right and we have earned it! One of the girls in the group is going through a similar experience as i myself am going through and the Shamens say that she has a negative spirit following her around which they are going to work on cleansing and clearing. The Maestras say that they will work on us both tonight and they will raise the intensity of the Icaros to increase the energy and the healing potential.
I think I will drink a whole large cup again tonight! Why not!?
DAY 12
The ceremony last night was a very nice one and I experienced a very fluid and beautiful ‘ mareacion’ .
Again, I drank a full large cup but as even more than the previous time, the effects were really very mild. I think that by now, the Ayahuasca has already completed most of it’s work on my physical body as this time, I had absolutely no muscular spasms (apart from very mild and occasional twitches, which is common most times I partake in any kind of energy work ) and my body, in general was more relaxed than it had been all week! I felt almost sober if it weren’t for the most fantastically lucid and vivid visions that I was experiencing each and every time I closed my eyelids! Wow, this time It felt very, very nice and I was in a good place from the start. Fully relaxed, a warm flow of energy circulating my body and some of the most vivid and stunning images I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing each and every time I closed my eyes! The Maestras had said in the meeting that they would raise the intensity of the Icaros and their healing energies and I certainly noticed the difference! They were also working on relieving me of negative energies by using a particular liquid that they would hold in their mouths. They would then suck on particular and precise positions upon my temples, face and eyelids! I think that they must perform particular techniques and blessings on the liquid and that when they suck the negativity out of me, it would then pass through the liquid and do something to the energy before they take it into them. Obviously they are protected either way and would purge any negativity out but that’s my guess as to the use of it, among many other possible uses. Who knows for sure! This method has been used throughout the workshop and can be used to draw somebody out from the throws of a super intense and uncomfortable visionary experience. I have seen this performed and they can literally take away someone’s visions within a matter of seconds! This is very powerful and many of the group have thanked them for this after previously experienced something like I did on my second ceremony, and on many occasions, it can be much, much more hellish as your inner fears are brought to the surface! The main thing to do (or try as hard as you can at least) when undergoing such trauma, is to tell yourself that it’s not real. The visions are not real, they are a projection of some deep internal fear and in some way will eventually reveal a lesson to be learned! As again, I had done during my somewhat turbulent second experience with the teacher/healer plant!
The whole night had an air of past lives about it. I felt somehow intuitively that that was the theme of the evening and that the Icaros were working on many past life issues that ran deep and had followed on to this incarnation. Many of the visions I experienced seemed very ancient and some were very symbolic. I could not perceive their origin though and merely watched as an observer as the Ayahuasca went about its business. I did however notice a particular vision that seemed to have the look and feel of somewhere in ancient Greece. It was some kind of structure housing numerous columns much like the style of ancient Greece. There were many visions of particular structures but none that I can explain. One vision also had a dark cloaked figure within it and some kind of swirling vortex of red and orange. This had an intuitive feeling of sorcery of some kind.
There is something I heard today that links in with this. If you remember, I had explained on the morning of the second ceremony a member of the group was a little upset with me? I was told today that during the first ceremony, he had a very strong and clear vision and that I was in it! He explained to this person that he had seen me in a past life and that I was some kind of powerful wizard or sorcerer. I had great powers of energy manipulation and I was using them in a negative way! This would have been the reason why he was upset that I was letting my energy free to connect with others in the room and indeed the universe. Apparently he had also pulled people quietly to one side and advised them not to accept any offer of energy healing from me. Well, I can’t really blame him, I hadn’t seen what he saw and I cannot remember my previous lives so who knows what energy theatrics and sorcery I may have gotten up to! All I know now is that whatever abilities come my way in this life will be used for nothing than a positive means to lift the level of love and vibration of the human race, up and out of this negative time in our evolution we are going through at present. (negative in some ways but a minority :) It’s nice at least to have a reason and some clarity for the conversation we had over breakfast all those days ago and now I completely understand the reason for his actions.
Sadly, this member of the group had undergone, along with many of us, an extremely powerful experience on the second ceremony and it was so powerful and intense for him that he had decided to leave the retreat and to head home. It took members of the group at least a week to figure out that I wasn’t that former life sorcerer any more and that they could indeed tell me of these things. I’m glad they did as it helped me to make sense of the whole situation that had left me a little deflated and confused originally! I really felt for him after having endure a particularly unpleasant ‘mareacion’ but at the same time I felt a little bad for feeling relieved that he had left, given the stale energy that our previous conversation had left me. None the less, I put it all down to the experience, wish him all the best for his future journeys and send him love and light all the same.
I am very conscious now that I am somehow here to regain these energetic gifts, amongst other things, and must be very careful not to get caught up in any motives emanating from a connection to my ego and ‘service to self ’, and to use them for none other than selfless endeavours. To live my life immersed in light, and not in the darkness of any kind.
I feel as though last night’s ceremony had released much negative karma from my many previous incarnations therefore enabling me to move forward in this one. The Maestras again, say that this is why I’ve been experiencing great sadness at times due to these past and negative deeds being brought into consciousness once more in order for me to acknowledge, and to release. I think it is highly possible that these henge stones have found their way into my presence to aid in this transition and I’ve a sneaky feeling that I may have been involved with Stone Henge in a past life even which may, or may not be the case, who knows for sure. It is obviously a great centre of energy and magic. Just a quick note on how they were found. I have a friend that was planning to attend Stone Henge on the summer solstice so I asked her if she would look for a stone in the circle for me which she said she would happily oblige. She had looked during the day but to no avail and couldn’t find any. Later on that day she was dancing in the stone circle when she felt an intense heat on her feet. Intrigued as to what it could be, she looked down and there they were! A set of three stones were there at her feet! Hmm how very strange and wonderful! This was definitely meant to be!
Recently, another stone had graced me with its presence in a similar way of sorts. Whilst in Thailand some time ago, my friend was walking through the grand palace in Bangkok, Thailand. Another great and ancient place of worship and energy. Whilst wandering through the palace in awe of the workmanship, magnitude and energy of the place he thought to himself that he would love to have a small piece of it to take with him. As he thought this he had kicked something that was loose upon the floor. It seemed to be a piece of the main floor,. I’m unsure of the stone’s geological structure, properties and naming etc. As he looked around, the flooring seemed immaculately kept and unbroken
and he could not identify where it had come from. So, he kept it and received what he had asked for (another synchronicity) Recently the stone had broken in half and as I’d been giving him a few healing sessions he happily gave me a piece! This stone, like the henge stones, is literally buzzing with energy when you hold them and I can’t help thinking that they have come to me for a specific reason and contain great power and energy. It’s a little strange how they were all discovered also! Could this be a link to why I’m always so drawn to Thailand and why I’ve visited there so many times? Many times I have called it my spiritual home as it seems to centre and balance me immensely when I’m there! Again, who knows, but maybe I will find out one day!
Sadly, after breakfast this morning developed a fever, diarrhoea and a little sickness and had little strength. (well, at least I purged a little something from my stomach which made me feel a little better :)
I’m unsure whether I had purged something negative or just my breakfast! I’ve been bed bound in the temple for the whole day and the group have looked after me so, so well and with much love and affection. This goes for the Maestras too and my love goes out to them forever for the complete and undying unconditional love that they have to give in abundance. They had nursed me almost constantly until I was better, checking up on me regularly to check my temperature and to bring me a new traditional jungle medicine they had made for me. It was like having six mothers for the day and it felt nice though the fever and nausea did not : ). They prepared a plant/water remedy for me and whilst gently holding my head in their laps, trickled it gently over my head, face, and through my hair in order to bring my temperature down and for the remedy to be absorbed through my skin. At the same time, others were working on my body and legs massaging me and relieving the sickness with methods only they knew the meaning of. I had complete trust of their infinite wisdom of these matters. I had to drink some plant medicine for my stomach and they also performed the afore mentioned sucking techniques on my stomach to draw out whatever was causing the upset which they would then purge in some form.
At one point the Maestras guided me to take a sip from what I perceived to be a water bottle. As I took a small mouthful it instantly begun to burn my mouth. Still holding it in my mouth I looked at them as if to say ‘ What the hell is this? This isn’t water’ : ) they instructed me that I must swallow it, which I obliged. It was like fire water (or absinthe! )and I could feel it burning through it’s entire journey down to my stomach. As it found my stomach it induced an instant need to vomit and holding it in until someone had ran to fetch a bowl I eventually let loose with my first fully satisfying purge of the workshop! yippee I’m guessing that it was the vomitivo fluid that others had drank during their course of medicine previously in order to rid their stomach of impurities.
After a few hours and I had managed to eat a few mouthfuls of food that one of the girls had kindly brought me from the dining room, I had built up a little more strength. Still feeling weak though and nauseous, especially when I smelt any strong aroma like the mapacho smoke I decided that I could not attend the evening and final ceremony and that I would have to listen to it from my tambo whilst resting my weary body. I realised that I had obviously received all of the healing that was intended for this trip and was content in that understanding. I could have still attended the ceremony without drinking Ayahuasca and received more healing but the mere thought of the stuff made me nauseous and sent a shudder through my body (and still does : ) let alone the smell of it! I retired to my tambo to read my book and to catch up on some much needed rest.
DAY 13
After many, many hours sleep and some extreme dreaming worthy of an endurance medal I woke to find myself feeling considerably better thank god! My fever and body aches had gone and though I was still a little weak, the improvement was substantial, much to my satisfaction! I think the ability to drink a little more water last night helped to flush my system through and to put me on the right track not to mention all of the time and work the Maestras has spent on healing me. I am eternally grateful to those very special ladies! My appetite has returned and I was holding my food a lot easier than before. I managed a good feed at breakfast and captured a few hours sleep before the meeting mid morning.
At the meeting we discussed our overall experiences during the whole workshop and most felt that they had achieved a great and profound healing. Some on exactly the level that the had came here in the hope to achieve and some on a much deeper and greater level than they could have ever anticipated.
Me? I feel that I received great healing on a deep physical level and the Curanderos say that it’s not only for ailments that you have at present. It will also prevent particular ailments from manifesting in the future! Mainly though, I feel that the healing of my being was happening on very deep levels releasing psychic debris and karmic debt that had been accumulated over many lifetimes. I had been released from many childhood traumas also that had been affecting me throughout my life causing particular patterns in my attitude and behaviour for many years. I have realised that many of my addictive personality traits had stemmed from various traumatic experiences of my past. Various forms of physical abuse for instance are very well documented to cause a string of addictions in a persons life as a reaction to such occurrences. I’m extremely overjoyed to admit that many of these traits seem to have been cleared by the internal release of these past negativities that no longer serve me. Hip hip hooray : ) I have also learnt to love and appreciate people a great deal more. On a deeper level, with a greater acceptance for all and without prior judgement. ( which is usually the difficult task and something we all do subconsciously as human beings!) as I know that we are all walking our own path in one way or another and though some may have missed certain positive opportunities for change, it does not make them inherently bad people and to the point, they may be in need of a little help rather than a negative pre judgement. I was already working on this one before and have been for a long time but it seems to come a lot more natural now especially after the first few Ayahuasca ceremonies where I experienced a complete oneness with everyone and everything! It’s even harder to pre judge anything about an individual once you’ve experienced the true feeling of oneness as then we are all undoubtedly connected and from the same source. Part of the whole!
I have felt an extraordinary influx of love, kindness and understanding from both the staff here and from the group and we have all combined to become one big shoulder for all to lean on throughout the tough times we have endured and I have a limitless love, appreciation and gratitude for each and every one of them. This, I will never, ever forget! I have learnt so many great and profound lessons here and I strive to hold them fixed within my conscious mind at all times and to commit myself to living by this new found freedom and loving attitude to life from now on. Testing times will obviously come in the future but if they didn’t, what would I learn? So long as I tackle all in a positive manner and with an overall positive projection toward the future then it shall manifest itself in a positive way!
It has been long overdue for me to regain a full connection to the natural world once more and has helped me to leave many materialistic and unneeded traits behind in the process, once again enjoying the simple things in life! The best things in life are free after all! : ) Being in a place like this, smothered by and so closely involved with nature brings you closer to your true self, sometimes hidden deep inside dying to break free. Being surrounded by such connected, kind and heart warming people really puts the important things in life into perspective, bringing to light a better understanding of the things that really matter.
Love matters and people matter! We all share this journey of life and love and are here to live it together, helping each other along the way when we are dragging our heels a little with patience and care and in any way that we can. This is one of the true meanings of life. I strive to be far more selfless in the future and as I walk my path and follow my dharma I will endeavour to aid the positive growth of any individual that may need it in any way that I can but the best way to help people will be to continue to raise my vibration and awareness as others do this also it will automatically raise the vibration of us all! As this is a contagious human attribute! ( much like the one hundred monkey theory, look it up )
I thank the eight healers for their wisdom to lend. Their love, their care, their magic, insights and for the new lease of life they have given me. They are truly phenomenal and profound teachers, friends and miracle workers and the finest inspiration to the world setting an even finer example as to how we could all be living our lives! They are an inspiration to all that grace their presence. Thank you! X
I thank the chef for her amazing, delicious and energy drenched food.
I thank the girls that tirelessly sweep around the camp and wash our clothes.
I thank the men that are constantly carrying heavy and fresh supplies through the jungle from the city from day to day and carry large heavy containers of water for us to drink, bathe ( and poo : )
I thank Cielo for all her hard work, organisation, her gentle way and inner strength.
I thank the universe for providing such a place to the masses and guiding it to grow and to help the healing of many, many lost souls of this world placing them in their rightful place at the throne of existence once more! May it forever prosper, grow, reach the communal dream that it seeks and to continue to heal people of terminal disease where all else fails.
I must pay massive homage and thanks to Mother Ayahuasca for her blessings, insights and the major healing that I have received during this workshop for she is the key to my future and has unlocked the door, so to speak for without her, the secrets would elude me still, my body still rife with impurity and pain, subconscious or physical and the future a lot less purposeful and confusing than it seems now!
I have many, many more profound experiences like this to come in this long and hardy lifetime and I’d be a fool to believe that, that was it and I had nothing left to heal! This be only the beginning of the journey but I’m honoured to have begun and in such a fashion and welcome the experiences/ lessons I have to come!
I would recommend this to anyone, should they feel drawn to it that is as there are many forms of healing and ayahuasca is not for everyone. At times, it can be exceedingly difficult and testing at times. This is undeniable! But the rewards by far out weigh the negatives! For Ayahuasca shows you what you need to see in order for you to make the necessary changes in your life, no matter how gruesome or distressing they may be but sometimes this is what’s needed to for you to really stop, take notice and make that change!
My thanks again to the Temple of the way of light for everything! Good luck and god speed!
DAY 14
I am now perched upon my seat (a window seat once again I might add : ) on my second flight home. From Lima to Sao Paolo. I thought I’d take a little break from writing until now as I felt I needed to rest and just to let the whole experience seep in a little. The walk out through the jungle was a little longer than the inward journey as the river depth had subsided about a metre and was inaccessible. This actually was nice as it felt good hiking and getting the blood flowing and the exercise was welcomed. I also got to appreciate the jungle with it’s various flowers tree and vines etc not to mention the bright orange (and highly venomous) snake that I saw skulking past through the dead undergrowth. The boat ride was also enjoyable and on the one hand I was glad to be ending my trip as I felt that it was the right time and on the other I was sad to leave the simple way of life and the people I’d come quite accustomed to.
After returning to Iquitos I returned to the hotel accompanied by a friend from the group and had a nice hot shower! We both went out in the town square and had some food etc and just soaked up the atmosphere from a restaurant balcony overlooking the square of Playa del Armas. The city was its usual busy self and was nice to sit and observe the world go by for a while. The whole group, including the healers met up at the yellow rose restaurant that evening for dinner as they have a very good menu conducive with the Ayahuasca diet. No salt, sugar, herbs, spice and even no sex as it said on the signs! Haha wouldn’t quite know how you’d get sex in your food but I’d rather not think about it anyway hehe. This was a lovely meal and I tried the alligator! : ) now, I’m trying not to eat much meat but I had to try it just the once and it was actually very nice! Though I ate far too much! Afterwards we all headed to the market along the boulevard down by the river at the end of the street. Just before dinner I had bought a few items there for presents back home and I was really drawn to a particular item which I bought for myself. This was an exquisite, hand woven necklace that has not one, but three Sodalite stones in it! I didn’t know much about this stone but was so drawn to it I had to have it! On returning home I read up about the stone and found, to my ( I would usually write the word ‘surprise here but it isn’t surprising anymore: ) it was exactly what I needed to help me through this present time! Hehe my guides are working overtime at the moment! Cheers! : )
Wishing I could stay and enjoy the evening with the group, I decided reluctantly that I would retire back to the hotel as I had a 4.30am wake up call from the reception! Which never came I might add and why I had the backup plan of my mobile phone alarm! Hmm lucky? I started a new book in the airport and was quickly immersed in it so the time just flew by! (pardon the pun : ) I had a long wait in Lima airport and treated myself to a relaxing massage in one of those quick fix massage booths that also do the Indian head massage which was aaaaaaahhhhh just what I needed! Though I hadn’t planned for the extortionate airport tax being so high and in finding the A.T.M for some money for my safe release out of the country : ) I then discovered that the bank had cancelled my card! Oh very dear! It just so happened that I had about seven soles to my name at this point in the form of coins. About a one pound and fifty pence! Having told the bank specifically of my trip to Peru and pleading with them not to cancel the card I was not impressed but being my newly relaxed self, I shrugged my shoulders and smiled, knowing full well that I would make it home so I just went with it and funnily enough, the coins I had just about paid for the phone call to the bank’s fraud office.
The flight to Sao Paolo saw my fifth window seat of the trip! Only one more would make it a full house! wow! The scenery was spectacular, I’m not even going to try to explain the visionary experience I went through during this flight. My jaw was scraping the zip on my belt buckle the whole time pretty much it was outrageous and mind blowing if I’m honest! I would love to come back here and visit some of these remote villages in the Andes! It’s a definite possibility!
This is a an abrupt but hopefully brief ending to the journal so far as my computer seems have to lost the rest of it that had taken me many hours to write! : ( I had written quite a lot and touched upon many subject but not to worry. (he says: ) I’ll have to return to the blog for another update when I’m a little less annoyed/sad about it!
I do have the whole Peru journey though at least! : ) c u
It's the following evening and i had even more bad luck yesterday when creating my blog but taking it on the chin and moving on. I will try to catch up on the rest tomorrow as so much has happened since my return : )
Hello again!
Ok I’m going to attempt to catch up on the lost part of the blog, please bear with me if it’s a little sporadic in content!: )
I arrived at Sao Paolo airport safe and sound and had about a five our wait until my onward flight home to London, Heathrow airport. There is not a lot here in this airport to do and over all, the place is a little dark and uninviting. Usually this sort of stop over can get a little tedious but I felt very centred and used the time to mull over my recent experiences. I just took each moment as it came and with great patience and didn’t seem to be in a hurry to pass the time like is usually the case! Instead, I used the time to get stuck into my new book ‘ The Secret of Shambhala’ and to also sit in quiet contemplation via meditation. This is a great way to pass the time and to use it to create something positive out of a usually quite drab experience! I also used the time and meditation to connect with my new companions, the Sodalite stones that found their way to me during the last night in Iquitos and the meditation with them was a very deep and relaxing one seeming to enhance my energies to an even greater level. Away from the spiritual aspect of my time here I also spent an hour or so watching a game of Brazilian football! They were showing the game on the television in the departure lounge which I thoroughly enjoyed, was a nice surprise and passed a large chunk of the time in an enjoyable fashion! : )
The flight to London was a very smooth one and again I had been allocated a window seat! This is great for the view and also having a nice cosy corner to cuddle up into!: ) The only downfall being that whenever you need to use the toilet, you then may have to disturb the passengers beside you to move for you and they may be sleeping! I try not to drink a lot during these situations as to dehydrate just enough so that I need not disturb them! Especially as they looked so comfortable! I, myself, actually managed a few hours sleep and I’ve done really well for sleep on all of my flights really compared to usual! I awoke as we were nearing the English coast and decided to open the window shutter to have a little peek. What did I find? The sun! Near on blinding both myself and my fellow passengers! Whoops : ) A while later I tried this again and was greeted by an aerial view of central London! I was home! Well, in a sense. I took some time outside the airport to soak up the English sunshine while thinking about the fact that, not many hours before hand, I’d been doing the same thing, under the same sun, half way across the world! This was a nice feeling and the difference in climate and overall feeling of the sun without the high humidity was great! I had another two hour wait for my bus but again, I just took the time in my stride one moment after the next.
The bus ride went rather quickly for a two and a half hour journey and my book helped with that nicely. I was almost stranded in Newmarket but after projecting a positive outcome on the situation one of my friends rescued me at the last minute! (cheers Admundo! ; ) The whole journey was about thirty three hours in total !
I’m unsure if I’ve explained yet or not about the books I’m reading? Hmm you can’t really answer that can you, doh : )
Anyway, so this series of books strikes upon many spiritual aspects but one of the main subjects is the coincidental phenomenon of ‘ synchronicity’ . Since reading these books, especially whilst in Peru, it seemed that every time I had read the next chapter of the current book I was reading, that very day, something would then occur that would totally clarify what it was that I read in the book previous!
The books explain and teach about the synchronistic phenomenon that lead and guide you onto your life path via various chance meeting etc. it explains how to look out for them, the signs and how to follow up on them. By following these signs you will therefore be guided onto your rightful path piece by piece bringing you the tools/people necessary to help you to achieve what it is that you need to at a given time! So this book has many techniques that help you to project your energies out in a particular way that aids the flow of these synchronicities and keeps them flowing regularly into your life keeping you walking in the right direction, so to speak!
I had felt different for sure after the Peru workshop but I knew that the big test would actually be how I felt when I was home and in my familiar surroundings once more! On returning home, the very first thing I did was to unplug my television, and to give it away to my friend that had kindly collected me from the neighbouring town of Newmarket where my bus had dropped me off. Change no 1! I had enjoyed my own company a lot more over the workshop and really didn’t have much time to watch TV even if they’d had one! I was happy to instead, spend my time on much more worthy and creative pursuits like writing, drawing and wood carving. Things that I’ve always loved but somehow seem to get swept under the carpet far too often under our fast paced western lifestyles. I was determined to change this needless pattern of TV watching. Most of the time I’m only watching somebody else do something with their life rather than being involved with my own anyway! What is it with this fascination and addiction? It’s an easy one to fall back into so by not having a TV. I now have no choice! I’m really not missing it at all and I’m starting to wonder how I ever had time to watch it anyway as I’ve been so busy with other things there still aren’t enough hours in the day! : )
So, returning home alerted me to many changes within myself. A whole change in attitude towards life and toward others! A change regarding food and diet is guiding me to remain, pretty much, on the Ayahuasca diet seeing as I feel so good for it! I’m talking about the main guidelines i.e. no sugar, salt anything processed, only fresh and clean produce etc. I feel great because of this and I‘ve learnt a vital lesson! That lesson has taught me to appreciate the real flavours of food instead of masking the flavours with salt and condiments. Don’t get me wrong, if I hadn’t had to go on the preparation diet for Ayahuasca I really would have struggled without the salt etc but I’m so glad I had to as it’s given me a new found appreciation for the natural flavours most things have to offer!
As I had gotten rid of my TV. I decided that I would start looking into getting myself a new laptop computer. Mainly for college work as my old one had began to struggle a little and could no longer operate Photoshop without pulling a muscle or two! She’s getting old bless her : ). I couldn’t really afford a new one but had no choice as I had to have one. To cut a long story short, within a day I had been guided toward my friends shop that specialises in trade ins and what should they have that had just very recently been traded in? Yep, a nearly brand new laptop with just the right specifications that I needed for my college work and a good program to write my journal up on! : ) ( that proved to be a little mischievous by losing my work but hey ; ) not only that but it was pretty much half price compared with a new one so I was over the moon! It hadn’t even been placed for sale in the shop at this point! I’m liking the techniques I’ve been trying from the book already by this time!
Some of the members of the group in Peru had been practicing various forms of internal energy work over the years in the form of martial arts like Tai Chi, chi gong and so on. I’ve always been very interested in these arts but really been a little too active and mobile for such practices until now. I felt that it was time to work on my internal energy and to practice very subtle forms of body work rather than the more fast paced and external physical activities. This would also aid the energy flow during any energy healing that I would practice and would bring benefits in many forms! So upon returning home I had set my intentions that I would like to find a Tai Chi teacher in the area and I was using techniques I’d learnt from the new book when I had a flash vision appeared in my minds eye! It just came up.. and went again very briefly. Usually people (including myself) just cast aside such random images that pop up throughout your day to day lives but I’ve since learnt (or should I say am learning slowly) to analyse the thoughts and images that seem to pop out of nowhere without any conscious thought bringing them up and try to find a meaning for them. These could be possible intuitions that, when followed up, may connect you to a synchronistic meeting/occurrence that may prove highly beneficial to your progress in some way be it a life changing one or simply finding the brand of rare coffee you’ve been searching for since you travelled last!
Ok, so I was sitting on my sofa when I quick flash appeared in my minds eye of a little health food shop in the centre of town. I recognised that I had not brought that thought up consciously so that it may well be something worth following up seeing as I had a particular intention in my mind at the time! So, I wandered up the road into town and entered the shop. I knew that this quaint, friendly little shop had a wide selection of business cards advertising various forms of esoteric subjects including, tarot, healing and bodywork of varying methods so I decided to look through them thinking that the right card would suddenly jump off the page at me! Well, I didn’t find one Tai Chi card advertisement!
I thought back to the vision and it didn’t actually show me the cards. Just the shop! Not being perturbed and maintaining my composure and positivity, I then spoke to the shop clerk to see if he knew any Tai Chi teachers. He replied that there was usually a card in the shop and he did know a teacher though he wasn’t sure if he was still teaching or not. He also said that the guy may know a good teacher if not so he offered to take my phone number and to kindly pass it on for me as the guy he spoke of frequented the shop at least three times a week!
The next day I decided to take my electric guitar up to the same shop where I got my laptop to see what sort of deal we could strike, but firstly, if we could try to sell it privately outside of the shop. It’s a little sad as I’d only bought it last year but I didn’t really play it that much so I thought I may as well either trade it for an acoustic guitar that I’d use more, or get some money to put toward my new travel adventure whenever it may be! : ) This was also a good practice for me on the subject of detachment! It’s always a little hard to part with something so nice and even though you don’t use something you can get needlessly attached to it! Attachment to something/anything can cause people distress if something damaging then were to happen to the item or have to part with something! However, if then you are detached from the item and worry not either way, then you suffer not!
Anyway, so on the way to the shop with my guitar I had seen a guy seated in the centre of town and for some reason felt very drawn to him! I just wanted to speak to him and had a powerful intuitive feeling that I he had something to teach me somehow. I’d instantly recognised this as a perfect example from the book series on how the synchronicities work and how to follow them up! It explains just this sort of encounter where a particular route of action will present itself to you via an intuitive urge to do something, go somewhere, or speak to someone for instance. You may feel that you recognise a person, though you don’t know where from, or you may simply feel a powerful magnetism toward someone. This happened to me the moment I saw this guy seated in town. I knew that I was to somehow strike a conversation with this person! A little lacking in both the confidence, and the correct way in which to approach the guy I reluctantly walked on. On the way back there he was again but again I walked on reluctantly knowing that, if I was meant to speak to him then the chance was sure to arise at least one more time before I would miss the opportunity for something important all together! When you miss synchronistic opportunities over and over again they become less frequent and you may find yourself taking the wrong steps through life but if you are aware of them and know how to spot them, not to mention being open and accepting them as part of your life, then they do become more frequent therefore guiding you toward your projected goals.
The next morning I was in a café typing up some more of my travel journal when I received a txt message on my phone. It was the Tai Chi teacher that the shop clerk had informed me about. He had received my number and asked if I would like to meet for a chat. He came to the café where I was seated and when I looked up to find him standing in front of me I was in very brief state of shock and realisation at the same time!
You guessed it! It was indeed the very same guy I had seen in the town centre on the day previous and had been very drawn to! This is how synchronicity works! I had focussed on my intention to find the right teacher for me and to aid my growth be it spiritual and energetic. I had been open to drawing the synchronicities into my life and practiced the techniques in the book. The universe had answered by presenting me with at first, the intuitive vision of the shop. Then I had noticed the teacher himself and had known intuitively that he was important somehow. And the rest is history as he then came to me! I now know that he is the man I’m supposed to train under! Strangely enough though I have heard of him over many years but I guess I was meant to learn a few other things before I was ready to commit to this. I am now learning a Chinese internal martial called ‘ Baguazhang’ and I have been training every morning since my first lesson in the first week I returned home from Peru. I also have three lessons a week including Sunday morning! You see when I first heard about him I was drinking lots of beer in the weekends and though I would have liked to, I didn’t have the commitment necessary for such a practice. Now, however, I am not drinking at all and am fully committed to it and am finding that it centres me immensely and it is a very complex style as every little movement has an energetic purpose, opening up meridians in the body and drawing energies into your storage centre for greater energy supply within the body. This is fantastic and I’m really enjoying it. Today I trained for an hour and a half. The longest morning session yet on my own and I felt so incredibly centred afterwards! It’s very meditative!
Ok so this is really quite a profound occurrence considering all of this happened within the first two-three days back home! During the meetings at the temple in Peru I had asked the Maestras to open up my intuition for me and they seem to have done just that judging by what’s happened so far! How exciting : ).
When I returned home on the Sunday I had decided that I would book an hour session with the crystal healer, Jane, that I had spoken about during the workshop that had told me about my apparent, previous life as a sorcerer etc. I wanted to see if anything came up about this life and if I had cleared certain links to it that were negative so on the Friday I went to her house and had, this time, a full one to one session as the last time was a group session. This time I took a Dictaphone so I could record the whole thing for later reference. It turned out that the last life that I’d spoken about didn’t even come up at all during the healing session but two other past lives had! These were very interesting!
One past life I had been a member of a tribe and one day I had gone out hunting alone for the day. Upon my return I did so only to find that the whole of my tribe had been massacred!! Not a nice time there then! Now the implications of this situation were huge for me and have passed over to this life! Jane explains that this has caused a massive impulse within me to support everyone and to heal all that I can! This emanates from this loss in the previous life and the fact that I was not there to help them! This explains many things as to how I am in this incarnation! I have always dreamt of living abroad for instance! The one thing that holds me back is that I don’t want to leave my friends and family behind and I worry about people. This stems directly from the past life in which I had left the tribe only to find them massacred upon my return! This makes a lot of sense and explains many of my characteristics! Jane had used numerous crystals that she selected intuitively and placed them on all of my energy centres in order to access this information by tapping into my energy grid! (it’s all extremely complex and confusing : ) she had then severed ties to this past life that no longer serve me and in doing so I feel like a new person! I feel like I could easily live away now and am open to any opportunities that may arise. There was another past life that came up also and was very in depth which I also had to release ties to. Now, these ties are only ones that no longer serve me in my life progress and these things have many layers apparently so there may be numerous links to these lives that may still be affecting me on many levels but I guess when I’m good and ready and they no longer serve me I will shed them also! And I also found out where my painful hip was coming from! A past life connection!
I realise that the Ayahuasca healing had shifted and healed me of many past life scenarios and then allowed me to pave the way toward the clearance of these past life links also! Both this session, and the workshop were definitely meant to happen and seem to have worked in conjunction with one another! In having this very profound healing session I had also found a new meditation class on a Monday night as Jane holds a weekly meditation and chanting group! Cool! I’m really enjoying my new life and with both the new diet, various forms of energy work and the loss of many former ties I feel amazing!
I had another great synchronicity the other day too!
I was walking to my Baguazhang class and I happened to randomly (seemingly ; ) bump in to a friend that I don’t see very often and he informed me that there was a mind, body and soul fayre in a small town nearby on the following Saturday. Knowing that this coincidence wasn’t an accident I kept the information in my mind and thought that I really should go and see what would occur and what people I would meet! Come Saturday I was debating whether to go or not as I was feeling relaxed and enjoying the company of my friends. I kept getting this niggling feeling that I should go so eventually I gave in to my intuition and went home to get my motorbike and ride out to this little town in the country, intrigued as to what was going on there! I eventually found the function at a small town hall in the small town of Clare as I didn’t have a clue where it was before asking a local shop clerk! The moment I walked in I spotted two people I know and one of them gave me a free crystal card reading, which was nice. I decided to scan around and just see what/who I was drawn to! The room was full of various different complimentary therapies from hands on healing, to the Bowen technique to Auric photographs to psychic readings and workshops, there was a great range of things on offer and at cheap prices for taster sessions. I was very drawn to a lady in particular that was holding psychic readings for people but she was busy at the time. I decided to have a photograph take of my aura as I’d always wanted to have that done and find it very interesting! I actually left the photos there but when I get them back from a friend that luckily picked them up for me I’ll post them up for you. I had one photo taken and had then seen a Polish friend of in the corner of the room performing sound healing via gong baths and the use of Tibetan singing bowls. I had a session with him and it relaxed me immensely. We decided to try another auric photograph as to see what kind of effect the sound healing had had on my aura! After looking at the first and second photos It seemed to have an amazing effect on aura and it had brought lots of healing rays in and replaced what was there before therefore giving a first hand idea of how powerful and healing both sound and vibration are for the human body and spirit! Meanwhile I was still feeling very drawn to the lady giving psychic readings but once I found her free, sadly she had to go to speak downstairs in a workshop though she seemed very keen to give me a reading! After this I had bumped into a lady that was practicing the Bowen technique! I managed to persuade her into giving me a free taster session which was great and she had noticed a few things out of place within my body but things that would need at least a full hour to set right! Funnily enough, on of these problems being both skeletal, and muscular and if that were set correctly once more it would help me immensely with the Bagua training! I hadn’t really enough money for a full session so the thought popped up in my mind that she may like to trade healing sessions! Upon asking she was very happy to oblige which I was overjoyed about. Not only that, she actually lives in my town! So I will give her a Reiki treatment and in return I will receive a treatment of the Bowen technique! I don’t know too much about this technique at the moment so far but I‘ve heard it can be extremely effective and I‘ll give it a try. If it alleviates my skeletal/muscular displacement I would be ecstatic! I decided to wait for Angie, the psychic lady to return from her workshop and In spotting a didgeridoo in the sound healing corner I ended up having a good jam with my friend for some twenty minutes while he was using various other instruments and chanting. We stopped and received a tremendous applause from the whole room full of people which was awesome!: ) When Angie had returned she told me to go outside and meet her therefore giving me a free reading which was very kind of her! She gave me an amazing reading and just flowed from one thing to the next very naturally as we were conversing out on the street pathway. She told me some profound insights and helped to guide me a little in the way that I had needed at that time. I hope I see her again she is an awesome person and great fun to be around!
So I’ll leave you to think about the synchronicities for yourself but just from that one, apparently chance meeting on the way to a Bagua class that day, I followed the information I had been given about the fayre, and had learnt a lot from it in the process! I had arranged a free healing session which may or may not have a profound effect on my future, physically. I had had two auric photographs taken and been given interesting information on their content thus giving me information on the things I need to work on. I had received a free gong bath sound healing, a free taster session of the Bowen technique and I had a free reading that gave me some great insight into my future! All in all I’d say that it was very worth while following up that synchronicity don’t you? : ) oh and another thing, the synchronicity works both ways as while I was there I had given a friend information about the Bagua that he was interested in, I had passed information in many forms to my friend Michael, the sound healer and I had also arranged to give a healing session for Jo, the lady who will give me a Bowen session also! So these meetings are very much an exchange and an interwoven web that involves many people and many things at the same time!
Ah, while this springs to mind, I thought I’d write about a link to one of the workshop ceremonies that I said I’d explain. I had a reading from my friend Linda on the first week of my return and she had told me why my Mother was holding back from revealing herself fully to me. She said that this has been a extremely hard for her to do but in doing so it is helping my progress in some way as it keeps my connection strong with that dimension/spirit plain as I’m often reaching out to it to find her! It’s difficult to explain but I now know why she didn’t appear as a vision during that particular ceremony and indeed throughout my whole life! Many times I have felt neglected a little through the lack of contact but now of have some closure on the matter and I appreciate what she is sacrificing also to aid my progress! Thanks Mum! Love you n miss you! Xxx
Well, I’ve not caught up in the way that I had written previously but I have given an overview of the main things that have gone on since my return but believe me when I say. A lot more has happened than I have said as I’ve only touched on the big synchronicities etc. they can also be very small and subtle not just massively life changing!
Keep an eye out and allow them into your life! They will only bring you progress! : ) x
